The striker for Manchester City is not only a demon on the field, but his fashion sense is also a source of attention: vibrant, playful, and never less than captivating.

Whether you care about football or not, the likelihood is that you are acquainted with Erling Haaland of Manchester City. The 6ft 4in Norwegian nepotismo (his father played for Leeds and City) and Premier League leading scorer has established himself as the most captivating footballer of the twenty-first century. Already at the age of 22, he has amassed absurdly high numbers of goals (a record-breaking 35 in 31 Premier League games this season subsequent to last night’s triumph over West Ham). He accomplishes this by maneuvering in the penalty area with the delicacy of a bull in a china shop that is otherwise fortified.

Having developed enormous lips stinging with bee venom, hair resembling Thor’s, and a physique forged from cooked liver and blue-top milk that is simultaneously wiry and thick, he has also demonstrated his adeptness in dressing. A Zoomer Ronaldo who has been featured on the covers of GQ and Icon, he favors extravagant Dolce & Gabbana prints, large watches, and the sort of conspicuous logos that were emblematic of Wags during the Baden Baden era. He enjoys documenting each of these on Instagram. Regardless, he must find a way to spend that money!

1. Smooth operator

Off-field comfort and convenience are of the utmost importance to a player of Haaland’s stature; the Norwegian has accomplished this by amassing an enormous collection of silk pyjamas. Dolce & Gabbana’s Parco dei Principi set, featured in the main image above, features a subdued blue geometric print. This design draws inspiration from Italian majolica, the ornate pottery featured in the White Lotus 2, which has a combined price tag exceeding £2K. Fancier pajamas, which are referred to as “the new sweatpants” by the Wall Street Journal and are worn on some sort of Mediterranean jetty and in the changing room as if they were the equivalent of an ice bath, are also considered “the new sweatpants.”

2. Short cuts

As is the case with Haaland, the majority of footballers are contractually obligated to wear Burberry at some stage in their all-too-brief careers. This absurdly capacious silk short suit in the brand’s signature tones costs £1,680, which is considerably less expensive than some of his nightwear but may serve as an unwelcome reminder of the disparity in income between you and him. Regarding form, it is precisely on-trend. Short suits are the trend this summer at M&S and John Lewis.

3. The wild one

Observing Haaland relax in these leopard-print PJs, also by Dolce & Gabbana, on a neutral sofa is comparable to observing a lion unwind after a hunt; however, this lion has a £110,900 Rolex Daytona watch, a top button that is raffishly undone, and a recent pedicure. Consider the fact that Barcelona forward Robert Lewandowski has been observed attending training in a Dolce & Gabbana pinstripe tracksuit, if you find this ensemble to be ridiculous.

4. Flamingo pose

Similar to tree rings, a player’s age can often be deduced from the length of his hair. This 2021 photograph of a teenage Haaland sporting a slicked-back bob demonstrates an early fondness for his understated, beachy aesthetic. Once more designed by Dolce & Gabbana in collaboration with the rapper DJ Khaled, Haaland opted to adorn this ensemble with a pair of sliders priced at £350. Certainly, it is not pajamas.

5. True blue

This pyjama top made an uncommon appearance in Britain; instead, it was a crisp, structured, slightly creased, sky-blue nightshirt by Dolce & Gabbana that resembled Hugh Hefner. This time around, Haaland opted to wear loose cream pants with his jimjams to an upscale Manchester restaurant, where he was presumably ordering some sort of lean protein.

6. The Tiffany touch

Certain individuals hypothesized that it was only a matter of time before two dominant corporations competing for attention in the marketing industry discovered a common vision. Tiffany and Nike, not Sheikh Mansour, the owner of Haaland and City, collaborated on a line of apparel and trainers last year. For a variety of financial and aesthetic reasons, only a select group of athletes, including Beyoncé and Jay-Z, wore the collection. The price of the trainers in isolation exceeds £1,500; it is unfathomable to consider the total cost of the ensemble.

7. Luscious locks

Haaland possesses 23% hair, a fact that he likes to remind us of on occasion as he approaches the conclusion of a routing. This hairstyle was exposed during the dying moments of last week’s humiliating loss to Arsenal, during which he scored the fourth goal of the match, which was completely unnecessary. Concerning the Greta Thunberg training plaits, it is common knowledge that football players sport hairstyles that are aggressively directional. His, like Samson’s, appears to lengthen with increasing strength. Why does Haaland claim that he will never trim his?